Dear Hawks, 

Aside from the few hot days we’ve been getting, it seems like fall is finally here! Everyone has their sweaters and long pants on now, except for the weird boys I still see wearing shorts.

Let me tell you lads, if you’re trying to prove something, you’re only proving to me that you don’t mind freezing your arses off in a weak attempt to seem macho. But if you wear shorts because you truly don’t get cold easily, well... good for you I guess. Disregard my criticism. As you can see, I get cold VERY easily and I am always equipped with a coat and long pants. 
 
I recently heard a girl say she always gets her outfits wrong. So, here are a couple of tips.
 
One: I know you all have those little technological devices. I see them all the time. Now I believe that you can find anything with those products. Am I wrong in assuming you can also find the weather on those things?
 
Two: Wear long pants, a short-sleeve shirt and carry a sweatshirt around with you. You silly, silly people. Sometimes I think you’re brilliant and other times I severely question your judgment. My life as a statue has been quite lengthy though, so I’ve seen worse.

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